Oh Those Nutty Horse Sale Ads!
By Cindy Hale
Friday, June 18, 2010
Lately I’ve taken on the job of unpaid horse sale ad browser. A couple of my friends are horse shopping and haven’t the time to cull through the herds of ads, so I volunteered. I’ve spent hours browsing online equine ad sites and boy, has this been an education! My eyes have been opened. I had no idea that so many horses of so many types are for sale in so many price ranges.
It’s addicting, this horse shopping persuasion. I can’t seem to stop myself from clicking to the next page of ads or expanding my search criteria, just to see what pops up on my computer screen. Many of the ads are humorous, although I’m quite sure the seller didn’t intend to make me laugh. But it’s the way they’re written: Either too much information is given or it’s presented in entirely the wrong way. Just so you can appreciate what I’ve been finding in my horse hunting journey, here are some gems excerpted from real life online horse ads. These first few are (allegedly) describing well-broke, backyard trail horses:
Sorrel Mare: “She’s very fast once she gets out on the trails. Good luck to your friends trying to keep up with you.”
Bay gelding: “He likes to do his own thing when you’re in the saddle.”
Morgan gelding: “Goes good under saddle. Nice driving prospect, too. Just put in harness for the first time and he didn’t put up too much of a fight.”
Then these ads seem to reveal more about the sellers than the horses:
Older bay gelding: “A been there, done that kind of horse. My novice husband rides him down busy streets in tennis shoes with a beer in his hand.”
Sorrel gelding: “I ride him bareback and I’m barefooted all the time, he’s that trustworthy.”
And then there are ads that are trying to say something, but the words just get in the way:
Ungelded 5-year-old buckskin: “He really likes to be around other horses.” (Like, duh!)
Ranch horse prospect: “Hasn’t been exposed to cattle, but he’s seen them at a distance.” (Is that like not being exposed to Swine Flu, but having been stuck in line at Walmart behind someone who was coughing?)
Of course, I have to also offer up one of the online trainer ads I discovered. This is from a 15-year-old girl. Yes, I said a 15-year-old: “I have alot of experiment in numerous training and can do about anything: colt starting, problem horses, bad habbits, jumping, dressage, western and many more.” (I was also a gutsy15-year-old girl…. Once. But even I would’ve admitted back then that it was pretty much mathematically impossible to have amassed enough “experiment” at that stage of my life to address horse behavioral issues as well as handle disciplines as different as colt starting and jumping. Yet I do admire her entrepreneurial chutzpah.)
Now you see what I’ve been finding online? If you’ve done any horse-related shopping online, then you’re aware of what’s out there. Maybe I should tell my horse hunting friends that they at least owe me lunch for my services.
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Oh Those Nutty Horse Sale Ads!