Horse Slobs
By Cindy Hale
Saturday, December 4, 2010
I am a horse slob. I came to this realization the other day while I was trail riding. I crossed paths with one of the local horse trainers in town and after we exchanged greetings she said, “I almost didn’t recognize you. Your hair looks so nice and you’re wearing earrings.”
Has it gotten to the point where it’s remarkable when I style my hair and dangle some jewelry from my ears?
I guess so.
But in my defense, spending what seems like half a day doing horse chores robs me of any enthusiasm for getting all gussied up. Once I’m done with the horses I trudge into the house and change from jeans, long-sleeved t-shirt and a jacket into sweatpants, long-sleeved t-shirt and a zip-up hoodie. For added comfort, after I’ve cast my boots aside I step into a pair of cheap, fleece lined leather slippers. Yes, I bought them in the men’s aisle of the shoe section at Target. But they fit well (providing I wear them with a thick pair of socks) and they were oddly cheaper than their counterparts over on the women’s aisle. And like every other horsewoman, I’m always looking for a bargain. Hay is expensive.
As for my hair? Well, I feel like an Andalusian mare. Everyone (especially my husband) tells me that I look best with my hair long and full. But I’m the one who has to care for this mane. The entire washing and blow drying routine is a hassle. It looks great for one day, maybe two, and then it goes through a slow de-evolution of style. First I instigate the Big Barrette. That allows me to have a portion of flowing locks that bob against my neck at the canter. Then a few days later I’m utilizing the beaded ponytail holder. Looks snazzy sticking out from under my helmet. By the time I’m reduced to using a couple of Braidettes (those tiny elastic bands made for training a horse’s mane to one side) to corral my hair and stuff it under a ball cap, you know I’m warming up to another at-home salon session. Dig out the shampoo and conditioner, fire up the blow dryer and alert the horse community. Cindy’s about to style her hair!
I guess I’m sharing this with you just in case you’re a horse slob like me. Maybe knowing that you have a kindred spirit will lift your spirits. Next time you’re wandering through the grocery store or standing in the teller line at the bank, and someone is staring at you because you’re dressed in a manner that vaguely resembles a down-on-their-luck agricultural worker or a sloppy gym rat, just smile politely and nod. Then say, “You’ll have to excuse me. I am a horsewoman and I’m tired. But if you catch up with me on, say, Wednesday, I’ll look like a completely different person. You’ll be amazed!”
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