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Why are you staring at me like that?

By Cindy Hale

Friday, November 7, 2011

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In the past I’ve shared how I get some odd looks from non-horsey people. Apparently my everyday stable clothes make me look either out of place or marginally deranged whenever I venture beyond my little horsekeeping community.

Perhaps you’ve had the same experience if you’ve stopped at the bank, grocery store, dentist’s office or hair salon on your way home from the barn. (For the record I am guilty of all four of those offenses). Most of the non-horsey people stare at us with puzzled confusion or barely cloaked suspicion.

In all fairness, maybe we do sometimes look a bit strange compared to the rest of society. In fact, just so we can have a good laugh at ourselves rather than develop a psychological complex, I created an informational cartoon diagram.

Horsewoman
Click for larger image
  1. A horsewoman’s hairstyle is permanently crimped into one of two styles: the infamous Hat/Helmet Bob or the ever-popular Hogtied Ponytail. (This being the path of least resistance for those horsewomen determined to hang on to their long locks).

  2. No, it’s not the result of a catfight at the local honky tonk. The bruise blossoming on your cheek is due to stepping on the metal barn rake last night and getting slapped in the face with the handle.

  3. Oh, how we love our zippered sweatshirts! Unfortunately, the hood acts as a cup holder, collecting a bouquet of alfalfa sprigs, curry comb dander and stall shavings.

  4. Nope, not even heather gray (a horsewoman’s go-to color) can disguise a big ol’ slobber stain. Unfortunately, it looks like a toddler urped pea soup on your sleeve.

  5. While in line at the grocery store you rummage through your jeans pocket, looking for coupons you clipped. Instead you pull out crumbled remnants of horse cookies. Embarrassed, you tell the folks in line, “I was teaching my two-year-old to climb into the trailer.” Somehow that explanation makes them stare at you even harder.

  6. Thanks to the tread on your paddock boots, you leave a telltale trail of compressed barn muck in your wake. And doesn’t it smell wonderful?

  7. Patches of dried horse sweat, saddle soap residue and shed horse hair have formed a multi-media collage on the inside of each jeans pant leg. Maybe it’s time for laundry day…

  8. Who says you can’t make a stylish purse by snapping a roping rein to the top of a nylon saddle bag?

  9. Band-aids of a size usually reserved for industrial accidents adorn your hands. (That’s the last time you try longeing a greenie in an open field without your gloves).

  10. Good news: You got a free hoodie as a bonus gift when you bought that 10-pack of paste de-wormers. Bad news: You seem to be advertising the fact that you’re infested with nematodes.

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Why are you staring at me like that?

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Reader Comments

Becki    Pr. George, BC

11/30/2011 3:55:26 PM

That was awesome! I really enjoyed knowing that I am NOT the only one! Heheheee..............I find myself in the same situations!

Cindy Hale    Horse Channel, CA

10/17/2011 11:03:33 AM

THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENTS!

SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT TYPE OF MAN I'D ATTRACT NOW, THE WAY I LOOK AND DRESS--OR IF I'D ATTRACT ANY MAN AT ALL! MAYBE IT'S A GOOD THING I'M ALREADY MARRIED!

Bev    Hatch, UT

10/13/2011 2:13:31 PM

I think they spotted me...

Heather    Sacramento, CA

10/12/2011 7:57:41 PM

To true!

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