The World According to Ponies
By Cindy Hale
Friday, July 20, 2012
Love them or detest them, chances are a pony has contributed to your love of horses. Many of us had our first ride aboard a pony (I know I did) and experienced our first injury due to a naughty pony (me again).
While we might have ambivalent feelings toward the little beasties, there’s no doubt that ponies love being ponies. And why shouldn’t they? Ponies have conquered plenty of humans either through outright intimidation or by utilizing the charm inherent in a sweet face and petite constitution. This concept intrigued me, so I spent hours interviewing countless ponies so I could understand how they view the world. And thus I present this list of comments, straight from the mouths of ponies:
10 Good Things About Being a Pony
- Half the time people expect you to be bad, so there’s no pressure to live up to any grand expectations.
- It’s a compliment to be described as “short and chubby.”
- Since every item of tack and equipment must be downsized, you get your own personalized stuff. That means you don’t have to share things with anyone else. (“Neener-neener” to the horses!)
- Nature blessed you with a thick, shaggy forelock, which shields and camouflages the expression in your eyes. As a result, no one really knows what you’re thinking.
- If you plan carefully, you can spend your entire show career in the walk/trot division.
- Spring grass conveniently grows to a height level with your mouth, so you don’t have to reach far to grab a snack on the trail.
- You’re never stuck with the embarrassing names some horses get, like Zipped Chick Shining Doc or Sir Alfonse Foo-Foo III. Instead you get cute names like Gumdrop, Peanut, Donut and Cookie.
- Thanks to a customary layer of fat over the ribcage, it’s easy to ignore the continual thumping of a child’s heels against your side.
- By utilizing the pony yoga position known as “kneeling giraffe” you’re able to crouch down onto your knees, contort your neck and twist your head. This allows you to steal food from the clueless horses in neighboring corrals.
- If you’re good and sweet you’ll have a forever home because your owners can’t bear to sell you. If you’re evil and nasty you’ll have a forever home because your owners can’t convince anyone to buy you.
See? There are indeed plenty of reasons why it’s good to be a pony!
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